“If they don’t like you, they will just steal your stuff.” – Andrew Wollman

“If any other comedian would have enough balls to perform it, then it bores me. One’s ability to generate jokes cannot be stolen.” – me

(btw Andrew, I never got to ask, who is ‘they’?)

I am a comedian and therefore as part of my work, I can act, sing, write and criticize powerful people who do not deserve their power and use farcical propaganda to keep the world from progressing out of tragic misery. Lately my focus has been on memes due to the closing down of open culture and the fear of talking about nearly any significant topic.

I have spent decades now honing these skills. However, some people only believe a person can be a Comedian when they are bestowed this honor by an agency or club somewhere. If such credentials are an absolute requirement for you and you simply cannot accept that the comedy industry could ever be corrupt or decadent, you will find all the Top 100 Comedy Hits right here that I am certain will be up to your exacting standards.

Update 2020: When I was trying to get my foot in the door of los angeles between 2010 and 2013, working during the day, going to open mics as often as I could at night, there were some faces I got to know pretty well, and who were getting club spots while I was not. Some of them were Brenton Biddlecomb, Chase Bernstein, Ryan Flanagan, and Josh Adam Meyers, and now they are finally getting on cable tv shows 8 years later. And guess what? They were funnier back then. Whatever happened to them in the last 8 years has made them worse, not better. This is just my opinion and I was rooting for them, these are comedians I liked then and have no reason not to like. I remember saying encouraging things even to Brenton, Chase and Ryan. Josh Adam Meyers asked me one time when there were only 3 people in the audience at Cafe Muse if I did cocaine, but otherwise he pretended I wasn’t there. He was able to skip the line at all of the big open mics in 2010 and he didn’t get on TV until 2020. That is…..a lot of dues to pay….just sayin. I am glad I left, you may say this is sour grapes, but….those grapes are actually sour.

I don’t like leaving my material up all over the place but I have made the comprimise that I have left a single 15 minute performance up, forever, on my soundcloud page, that will eventually disappear like myspace because capitalism hates art. But for now it is up and I will share it with you, under one condition.

If you laugh, you have to 1. give me some XMR or BTC or 2. turn yourself in to the police for stealing.

Or 3. admit that global capitalism is stupid, take your pick.

And just FYI, this was the first time I ever performed this and I will never perform it again, and I hit my 15 minutes exactly. Try that sometime if you think it’s easy.

Otherwise, my views on comedy are complex and I have been at it my entire life. I wrote two books about comedy that I might post here some day, we’ll see.

I am available for performances, but I will not hold my breath.